Thursday, April 29, 2010 | 1:06 AM
Trying to forget and move on..
So true that humans always do things that they will regret...Y mus we be so stupid that we will always regret in our lifes??Sometimes i jus hate myself...I jus feel that theres so much things i can hate abt myself...Y am i born in this appearance? Y am i born in this character n personality?Theres so many y's...Haiz.. Theres so many things keep spinning ard in my head for few weeks...I jus wanna totally stop thinking abt it...But den some of e things make me think.. I cant stop..Yeah mayb theres pros n cons tat all these happen..Mayb is really better for e both of us...Mayb im jus not good enuf for him...Or mayb he jus not good enuf for me..If he is still e previous guy i noe i would definitely say im not good enuf for him...BUT now he is not good enuf for me..Theres so much memories... Its really diff to destroy n don think..How can some ppl jus change their love for someone so fast??Im still wondering on this question??Y some human being can jus lost their love or feeling when u once love???i still cant figure out an answer... Seriously NO suitable answer i think...Im jus trying to find things to hate him... hate him to the core...So that im able to forget him...Is love really so vulnerable??Is love really so meaningless n pointless thing??Is love jus an illusion??Is love all jus abt sex??Is it true that fairytales r jus fairytales??Is it true that fairytales r fake jus like my thinking??Nowadays, bcos of SEX temptation, a lot of divorce break up n stuffs..real life, shows..Haiz.. tats wat i came across nowadays..Shld i still believe in love??Can i fall in love again??Am i be able to trust someone again??Or shld i jus haf flings ard...Hahah how i wish i could..Jus haf some flings.. Meet up, dating...But no strings attached...No real feelings involved..But i don wan e innocent to get hurt bcos of me...Haiz, im jus in dilemma...Im jus lost.. i don noe wat im doing. i don noe wat i wan now..No goals, Nothing to look forward to..Nothing nothing...Mayb i shld start changing my life.. do something abt it..Anyway my fren ask me...If he beg for forgiveness n ask for return, wat would i say...I answer her NO.. She say u better think properly..Its not so easy as u think..Im wondering, will i??For my character, im very firm i would not..But sometimes when situation comes..It will really shock urself wat u do when u r in tat situation...I tot i can overcome e pain n everything quickly..N i would not be so hurt..But to my surprise, everything seems to be e opposite..Im really hurt n it does not heal tat fast..Its really sad..Haiz.. I can no longer say anything...N i haf to move on...I still haf to live my life..I still haf to be e STRONG evelyn teo everyone noes..Everything jus seems so fast.. REally treasure wat u haf when its too late to regret..
Wednesday, April 28, 2010 | 1:35 AM
My venting corner
I can't slp so I jus tot of this corner tat I can cry to...
my heart doesn't feel good... I don feel energized I don feel happy anymore?
y? suddenly I'm jus scared of everything? I'm a lost kid in an unfamiliar place?
I don noe who am I.. I don noe who can be trusted who is real?
aft everything I'm tired. I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm stress. I'm hurt.
I hope god can help me out lead me to a better life. I noe u r has been always there for me. I noe there's no one who can help me only myself. I'm really trying very hard. I always think I'm strong but I realise I'm not.
I noe it happen in this way I nd to be blame. I don blame him for everything.
now I think back. I didn't do enuf as a gf. I shouldn't be so ego. I shouldn't care so much for my pride. I didn't show much of my love. but I didn't haf chance to do it or change it. I regretted. it really hurts a lot. how I wish I can forget everything. how I wish I can forget e pain. who can I trust? I really miss those days. i miss e love, dote, care, hug n voice. i miss i can share everythin wif u. i feel comfortable wif u cos u noe me inside out. I feel proud n I tot I noe u very much but I'm wrong. I still trying figure y u can change so much? y u would do all these to me I always believe u love me a lot. I always believe I will be e one breaking ur heart but I'm wrong. am I really such a lousy gf?? y mus be during this period I noe e truth? I can't seems to concentrate on my studies? my exams r coming but I really had no heart study. but I'm freaking scared u r no longer here to console me no longer here to support n encourage me. u really turn my life upside down. this is even harder than I tot. everything jus seems so wrong. nothing feels correct now...........
