Monday, November 15, 2010 | 12:28 AM
Everything Changes...
Its been almost 6 months my last post haha.. tats pretty long...Hmmm... trying to get a hold of myself...trying to be strong...trying to get my life back..My life isnt e same anymore...whether is work, studies, r/s, frens...Been busy coping wif sch n work life...been busy healing my wound..aft tat incident, everything changes...my circle of frens...it start to make me wonder...am i a fuck up person??haha am i unlikeable person??i jus feel nobody understand me well enuf..Not even e once closest n part of my life person understand me..i still can expect who to read n understand me??even though almost a year haf pass..everything seems like jus happened ytd...i will still think back..i jus feel so unfair..yeah mayb she is more socialable towards ur frens..but do i haf a chance to go out wif ur frens?? u didnt let me haf e chance to do tat..mayb she is richer than me??so tat u wouldnt be stress over money probs..she wouldnt ask money frm u..ya im spendthrift..mayb she is smarter than me..mayb her character is better than me...all these i don deny..i don think i haf a good character..i don think im a good person..mayb i shld start doing something to myself...haha e prob shld lies with me...aiya i think im jus too stubborn...kp blaming ppl..Look back at those msgs u sent to me... which suddenly appear in my phone when i reset my phone tat day...all e care msgs n pretend to be nice msgs during tat period..i feel so fake n disgusted..i jus feel r those real??wats in e past is it real??is it true tat feelings can change tat fast??im jus thinking y do u haf to lie to me...i think if u nv lie, things will not get so fuck up..we will not end it badly..n we will haf a chance to be frens??but u make it to be like tat..n cos of u things in my life changes...n thanks to u im stronger...thanks to u i see e real side of e world..even though i still think of e pasti do feel lonely at times..but no regrets..im jus being who i am...jus feel a bit far apart frm tat particular someone..jus don wanna make my sadness become their sadness too...don wanna make them feel sorry for me..n i don wanna become a burden to them..jus hope they r enjoying their life.. mayb she will think im throwing her aside..but i did not..i don intend to explain myself..i scared it will only makes things worse...jus let nature takes its place...for now... i jus wanna forget n healed 100%..n i jus wanna enjoy my life..n work hard...
